Recently, while cleaning out my garage (of my former home) two paintings that my mom did
came down from the loft storage.
While reviewing them, I was amazed at the emotions that swept over me.
I miss her. She's been gone for 23 years. That's almost all of my daughter's
life. I missed out on having her be my Mom during the rest of the happy and sad times of
my life. My children missed out on having her as their grandma. (She would have
been an awesome grandma!)
I realized that I've been mad at her for leaving us all of these years. We had to
learn to navigate adult life without her. We had to grieve the loss of our beloved
Gram without her. We had to discover who we were without her and we had
to redefine our family without her.
So maybe now that I've realized my emotions I can let go of
the anger. She didn't want to leave. She was only 52. I'm going to
be 3 years older than that this summer. She had dreams, talents and skills.
Cut short by a terrible disease.
In memory of Mom I'm going to do the following:
1. Continue to be grateful for each day of all of the people that I love in my life.
2. Continue to strive to be the best person I can be.
3. Strive to be the best sister, daughter, aunt, niece, wife, mom and stepmom I can be.
4. Continue to learn new things and learn to change.
Thanks Mom. I love you.