Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Focus on positive

Everyday I have to remind myself to focus on the positive.  I catch myself during
different times during the day feeling negative about a situation or someone that I
have to snap myself out of it. So, since the last 2 days have been fairly frustrating,
here is a short list of things I feel positive about.
1. My husband
2. My children and his children's health and happiness
3. My central air conditioning
4. Central air conditioning in my Jeep
5. Central air conditioning at work
6. October 1st is only 65 days away and it should be cooler
7. Football season is even closer
8. My family's good health and happiness
9. None of us are politicians
10. None of us are in Iraq or Afghanistan 
11. None of us are in jail
12. My husband will be home in 10 days
13. My skills at my job
14. Good friends
15. Did I say central air conditioning already?

I find these lists help a person keep life in perspective. Life could always be easier,
but it can always be much much worse. Today while observing in a child care program,
one of the 4 year old girls was very excited to tell me that she had been able to visit
her mom in jail on Sunday. Imagine being 4 and going to visit your mom in jail.  Imagine
being 4 and already in your short life, your mom or dad has been gone to war for over
half of your life.

So, I guess the best thing I can say is focus on how much you have to be thankful for
and imagine your life getting better each day because of your loved ones and because
of the good things that you do each day for them and others.  Always assume positive
intent until someone proves you wrong.  Re-frame your thoughts into good thoughts
and your day will follow in positive light.

Thank God for air conditioning. Yes, I know I've said that before. So, to end on something
new, Thank God for snow.  :o)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Recalculating

Earlier this week, I went to a forum for people around the state who are
interested in early childhood issues.  Just as everyone else in the nation,
our profession has seen funding cuts and loss of jobs.  The keynote
speaker was a passionate woman who guided us to think about this
time in our country as a "recalculating" time; just as if we had a GPS
guiding us in our work.

So, in a time of changes and shifts into what we thought we knew,
we are now challenged to go into a recalculating time. Our learning
curve has been shifted and we are going to have to get creative
and think of things differently.

How many times in our lives do we have to recalculate? Sometimes
it comes in lumps, sometimes it's spread out.  But in the end, we
do survive.  The lesson here? It's not what happens to you, but
who you have along your side and what you learn from the
experience.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Reacting

I can remember when I was in my teens, I had a bit of a temper.
It didn't flare until I had tolerated all I could handle and then I would
let it fly.  Usually it would be a hairbrush that would go airborne or
a good old door slamming.  As I've gotten older, my tolerance level
has grown and so has my expression of my frustration or anger; and
I try to make a conscious decision to respond rather than react to a
situation.

Today, I stopped by our new house construction site and as I walked around
the house, (it was only 105 degrees) my temper grew with each step. There
was trash everywhere, Gatorade bottles, water bottles, pop cans, soft drink cups,
McDonald cups, and candy bar wrappers. Then the final thing that caused me
to lose it; cigarette wrappers and cigarette butts. I don't judge people for smoking.
But, I choose not to smoke and I certainly don't want it in my new house.

So, what did I do to release my anger? I picked up all of that trash thrown all over the 3,000+
sq feet of unfinished house. All of the Gatorade bottles, water bottles, pop cans, soft drink cups, etc.  And yes, I even picked up the cigarette packages. No, I didn't pick up the cigarette butts. By the time
I was done, there was 3 boxes full of their trash. One box on each level; main floor, basement and
garage. I left them there in the middle of each floor as a message; this is our home and I've had
it with all of your trash being thrown all over the place. Clean up after yourselves for goodness
sake!

Oh, and I did one more thing. I wrote an email to the builder and the realtor
and told them I do not want any smoking in our home. Maybe I would have felt better to just come home and throw a brush or slam a door.  :o)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Clean up

My husband is in Joplin now helping with the debris clean up from the tornado.  It's
an amazingly sad process. Not in the way one would think.  

They have people doing the labor, people to watch the people doing the labor,
and people to watch the people who are watching the people doing the labor.  
It's a sad day when you can't trust the people who sign up to help a city recover 
from a devastating tornado. 

What those heavy machines are doing is cleaning up the rubble of what
used to be people's homes and businesses. That's the true sad part.  
It's hard to believe that there are fellow Americans who try to steal from
other Americans in a time of disaster.

My only hope is that there will be a time when those people that can not be
trusted will be in a situation that they need help and need mercy from others.
That's when I hope they will learn mercy.  I hope they will be humbled and
realize that what they did to others was wrong.

In the meantime, I will be thankful for my husband, Brent, and all the other good
people who go to help others after a disaster strikes. They are the teachers of
mercy.

Linda


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Perspective

The neighborhood that I live in is a sweet, older neighborhood. The streets are lined with huge,  lush old trees.  Some people have lived here for decades, others just a couple years.  Living here for 17 years, I have come to know the people who have lived here and raised their family in the same home that now sees grandchildren and even great-grandchildren come for visits.

My neighbor to the north recently lost her husband of over 50 years. It was a quick loss as he was diagnosed and quickly succumbed to the awful affects of stomach cancer.  Over the years, she has said to me many times that she didn't know what she would do if he died before her. Her worst nightmare came true.

Last night, as I prepared to drive out to our new home that is being built, I ask if she would like to join me.  She quickly prepared to join me and off we went.  As we were catching up with each other's news, I shared with her that my husband was going to be gone for the rest of this month while helping with debris clean up in Joplin, Missouri. I went on to say how much I missed him already and that's when it hit me.  I knew that my husband's absence would change; he would come home. Her beloved husband would not be returning. We looked at each other and I had to stop the tears from flowing in recognition of her situation.  I gained her perspective in that moment and gave myself a silent lecture.

Sometimes, a current situation doesn't seem so bad at all when you get a
glimpse of someone else's pain and realize they would switch places with you in an instant.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Reluctant love

My daughter got a dog from the pound 4 years ago. I didn't want this dog.  But my daughter had made up her mind that this pound dog was the one for her.  I told her she had to pay for everything, hoping that would discourage her. (I should have known better.) My mistake was going to the pound to see him. My heart cries when I walk into the pound. I feel so helpless for all of those abandoned souls. Needless to say, once I saw him, all curled up on the floor of the pen, I completely forgot that I didn't want another dog.  


His name is Charlie. He is an amazingly beautiful combination of German Shepard and Australian Shepard. Charlie was like a Tasmanian Devil at first.  He thought your hands and arms were his own chew toys.  He dug in the yard, everywhere. But his one ear up and one ear down cuteness prevailed and we hung in there with him.  


Charlie moved to Kansas City with my daughter and I was relieved he was with her. I knew he would protect her in that big city, and he did. She took him to obedience training and he won the "most improved" award. He tried so hard to be an apartment dog for her; but eventually it got the best of him and he was sent back to my house until she lived somewhere that he would have room to run.


 He lived with me for 2 years and I fell in love with Charlie. He greeted me each morning with a smile and a leaps of joy to the back door to start the day. He followed me to each room of the house as I got ready for the day. If I sat on the couch, he laid down next to me. He helped me get out and get going after surgery by taking him for his walks. When my son moved out to attend college, he slept beside my bed. I grew accustomed to his noises and drew comfort from them. 


He has gone back to live with my daughter now that she has the fenced in yard and room to run. Charlie will always have a part of my heart. I reluctantly fell in love with him and it was the best thing I could have ever done.


Linda

Sunday, July 10, 2011

July 10, 2011 A new Journey

A new journey for me; a blog.  Do I have anything more important to say that anyone else? Probably not. But, my life is important to me and there are a lot of changes going on in my life right now; so I've decided to write.  I find that often people write when life isn't going well; this isn't the case for me. I am in the best place I have ever been in my life. My children are healthy and good people. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. His children are healthy and good people.  

Why did I choose the title "Moving Mercy"?  I looked up the definition of mercy and found it to say: 1. Compassionate treatment, especially of those under one's power; clemency.
    2. A disposition to be kind and forgiving.
    3. Something for which to be thankful; a blessing.
    4. Alleviation of distress; relief.
        (www.thefreedictionary.com)

The word mercy seemed to fit what I was feeling. I was feeling so thankful, so blessed. Additionally, in our world today, I hear and read so much judgement upon others and I liked the words "a disposition to be kind and forgiving".  The moving part is that I want to show mercy to others and perhaps they will be inclined to move mercy on to others.

Today, I watched the movie "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette.  (It's about the 3rd or 4th time I've watched it.)  It shows how people can show mercy to each other even after years of hurt and painful actions.  Forgiveness is powerful; especially forgiving yourself.  At the end of the movie, Maggie (Diaz) reads this poem by e.e. cummings: I Carry Your Heart

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling
i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)
anywhere i go you go, my dear; 
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I dedicate this first post to my love, my husband.  
I carry your heart in my heart, forever.

Be well, be kind to each other, and I hope that you have someone in your life
that you carry their heart in your heart with love and mercy.
Linda