Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my Mom's 75th birthday.  She died 23 years ago (March 10, 1989)
as a result of ALS. 23 years is a long time not to have your mother in your life. 
I've missed sharing so much with her; my children, jobs, interests, family, etc. There are times
when I have to make myself remember things that are important to remember like her laugh,
her little mannerisms and all the fun times we had.  I wonder how much different my children's
lives would be if they had their Grandma Betty in their lives.  She was so excited to be a
Grandma, and that awful disease prohibited her from being the kind of grandma that she wanted to be.

Here's a couple fun memories of my Mom.
1.  When we lived on the farm, I had a horse named Ginger.  Ginger had a terrible habit
of bucking people off when you wanted her to gallop.  She would walk anywhere you wanted her to,
but kick in for faster movement and she would just start bucking.  One day after getting bucked off yet
another time, I went crying to Mom.  She stomped out to the barnyard (she was barely 5 feet tall,
so stomping might be too strong of a word) grabbed Ginger by the reins and climbed on. 
Now this feat alone was heroic because of her size and the fact she hated horses.  She kicked in
and Ginger took off and then immediately stopped, lowered her head and deposited Mom in the
biggest mud puddle she could find.  All of us laughed and she wasn't hurt. Sadly, Ginger didn't stay
very long after that because a horse that won't gallop isn't much fun. 
2.  We lived in the new house in Oakley and one summer day, Mom had us outside watering trees.  She
didn't think we were moving quite fast enough and came out to nag us,  as mother's often resort to. 
I had the hose and sprayed her.  A full blown water fight ensued and it is one of my fondest memories of my mom and the 3 of us kids having fun. Yes, we were all soaked and our jaws hurt from laughing so much.

The point is, the simplest times are the fondest memories.  Happy Birthday Mom, I miss you.

Wear boots

I commented on my FB page that I hoped that today would be a better day.  A friend of
mine then texted me and asked what was up and I told her I was tired of dealing with
two faced people and their c*ap.  Her reply was priceless, "C*ap is everywhere, wear boots!"
I had let my guard down and forgot my boots so someone else's drama got the best of me.
It got me to thinking, at what point to we say to these people that you've had enough of their
c*ap and call them on it?  Here's some of my ideas:
1.  When they try to take credit for your work.
2.  When they try to pretend that they know everything.
3.  When they throw you under the "bus" to someone else; refer to #1, and #2.
4.  When protocol isn't followed and they get by with it.
5.  When it starts affecting your sleep.
6.  When they state how gloriously happy they are.
7.  When they have no clue how stupid they sound and look.
8.  When they try to make me look or sound stupid.
9.  When they try to make it look like I haven't done my job.
10.  Just because of all of the above.

Then I ask myself, "what good would it do?"  I might feel better, yes.  Would it help
my career? Probably not.  So for now, the best advice I got is "to wear boots".
Because c*ap happens.

Learning to Walk

In the same week, I've had several conversations about a child learning to walk.
While observing in a toddler room, a 16 month old is still crawling around
on the floor.  The teacher and I visited about his muscle tone, feet and legs,
brainstorming whether or not it was something physical. I learned the rest of
the story when I asked the teacher about the child's family; she told me
3 older siblings, all girls.  No wonder he isn't walking!

Earlier today, I visited with another provider about a toddler, 13 months, who after
spending the weekend at home, wants to be carried everywhere by his child care
provider during the day.  She said she was feeling mean by not picking him up everytime
he wanted to be held.  We talked about the need for him to develop his muscles and
confidence and that certainly when he needed comforting and reassurance, she would
pick him up. And we concluded that she wasn't as mean as she was feeling.  :o)

Later I picked up a new magazine and started looking through it and this short article
caught my eye; "Learning to Walk".  It's by Debra Sullivan and it's in the latest
Child Care Exchange Magazine.  She talks about the joy of watching her nephew
learn how to walk  and says "It's only a matter of time before he lets go of all
support systems" (i.e. Mom, Dad, furniture)"and takes that first series of wobbly,
but independent steps."  She then linked it to the process of personal change
for adults. 

• "If you don't stand up, you can't walk."
• "Just because you can't now, doesn't mean you can't later."
• "Never grow a wishbone where a backbone should be."
• "If it were easy, you would have done it a long time ago."
• "Don't believe everything you think."

I love all of those  quotes; especially "Don't believe everything you think."  Now I wonder how
long it will be when I will let go of all of my "support systems", i.e. comfort zones, and
take the first of a series of steps into the process of change.

Taking a leap

For some time now, I have a friend and colleague who has been encouraging me to
make a leap of faith and start a new career.  The current economy is making it harder
and harder to stay in the land of non-profit organizations and work in my field;
I'm not sure why I'm still hanging on.

Helping others talk about and take steps towards change comes naturally for me,
but I find it somewhat hypocritical that I am hesitant to do it myself.  After all, in an
earlier blog didn't I list the changes that have occurred in my life just recently?
What is the difference? Well, the big difference is that a career change means uncertain
income.  I have responsibilities and obligations to meet and what if the new leap of faith
doesn't help me met those? What if I'm not successful?

Well, what if the new path exceeds those responsibilities and obligations?  My own
daughter is a prime example.  She created her own business, is highly competent in her
delivery and is extremely successful. She dove in and made it work and her business is still growing.

I know that I am coming closer to the day when I will be ready to make the leap.  But first,
I have to fully convince myself that I have something worthwhile to offer people AND get
paid a livable income to do it.  Now, that's the secret for us all, isn't it?

Birthdays

Recently, I was blessed with another year of life.  Last year was quite the whirlwind and I
don't think this year will be much different.  Here's a life of events that happened August 01, 2010
to August 01, 2011:
My son moved out (to his Dad's) and started college.
My daughter got married.
Brent & I got engaged.
Brent and I put our homes up for sale.
Brent and I signed a contract to build a new home.
Brent sold his home and moved everything to storage, except for a dresser, a few tools and some clothes.
We got married.
My house got shown for potential buyers over 20 times.
My daughter and her husband bought a house.
My daughter's dog moved to Kansas City to be with her after living with me for 3 years.
My son moved into a house with 3 other college guys.
Brent went to Joplin for a month to work on debris clean up.
New house has roof, windows, plumbing, electrical wiring and sheet rock.

No wonder I've been tired.  What do I have to look forward to?
2011 K-State Football Season with my husband
Honeymoon Cruise
Moving into a new house
HOPEFULLY selling my house
For right now, I think that's enough.  I will continue to pray that all of our
health and happiness is once again graced upon us.
What can I say but, "Life is good."